


Novel Notions

by Phosphorescent



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Original Trilogy, Star Wars Prequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff and Humor, Gen, In-Universe RPF, Metafiction, romance novels
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-20
Updated: 2020-07-20
Packaged: 2021-03-05 03:08:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25407403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Phosphorescent/pseuds/Phosphorescent
Summary: “I thought you’d enjoy reading about MasterObwain Kibonekand how the Jedi used to be portrayed in pop culture.”“Thanks,” Luke said dryly, eyeing the cover again. The man’s abs glistened in the sunlight as though oiled, and hishair…no one in real life had hairthatperfect, no more than anyone had naturally kohled eyes. “I think.”
Relationships: Leia Organa & Luke Skywalker
Comments: 36
Kudos: 141





	Novel Notions

**Author's Note:**

  * For [spectral_musette](https://archiveofourown.org/users/spectral_musette/gifts).



> [Insert "It's been 84 years" gif here]
> 
> To learn how this particular ficlet got started, take a look through my [SW Space Wars tag](https://phosphorescent-naidheachd.tumblr.com/tagged/sw-space-wars/chrono) on tumblr. Be sure to check out @spectral-musette's gorgeous [concept artwork](https://spectral-musette.tumblr.com/post/169827450214/phosphorescent-naidheachd) for this story while you're at it! Ultimately, it just goes to show that although it may take me 2+ years to complete even a short fic, bribery ensures that said fic remains on the writing roster. ;-)
> 
> This fic is loosely set somewhere between ANH and ESB; you can decide the more specific timeframe details.
> 
> Fun fact: I'm 98% certain I completed a different, longer version of this ficlet that included both Wes Janson, Not-So-Secret Romance Holonovel Enthusiast, and a Mills & Boon-esque excerpt from the holonovel, but I can't find it _anywhere_. So unfortunately, you'll just have to use your imagination if you want that version of the story.

“Happy early Life Day,” Leia said, handing him a small wrapped package.

“What? Leia, our Life Day isn’t for another month.”

“I know, but you were so disappointed after your last search for Jedi artifacts that I couldn’t wait any longer.”

“I shouldn’t—”

“You _should,”_ she said firmly, a small smile on her face.

Unable to maintain his protests any longer, Luke eagerly unwrapped the package, but took care not to rip or tear the material in his haste. Cloth might not be as expensive here in the Rebellion as it had been on Tatooine, but it was still a precious commodity and not to be wasted.

His fingers shook a little as he lifted the item out of the cloth’s fallen folds and brought it into the light.

It was… a datapad. _His_ datapad, as a matter of fact. 

“Gosh, thanks,” he deadpanned. “My very own datapad. However _did_ you guess what I wanted?”

Leia rolled her eyes, but the expression was more fond than irritated. “Your gift isn’t the datapad, banthabrain, it’s _on_ the datapad.”

_Right._

Scrolling through his notifications, he saw a holonovel had recently been added to his library. And the novel was a pulpy one if its lurid cover art was anything to go by. 

He pulled it up for a closer look. On the cover, a frowning white man with thick red hair and a pointed beard fired a blaster at an unseen enemy, his feet spread and long cape flapping in the wind. He wore trousers but no shirt—and his muscles were, uh, _lovingly_ detailed. A curvaceous woman with a short blonde bob crouched by his feet, blaster in hand, heavily-kohled eyes wide and startled.

The stylized way the characters were drawn reminded him of the wupiupi weeklies of his youth.

In the background, twin suns glared down on the couple, while… was that supposed to be the _Death Star?_

The title read,

_A Long Time Ago In a Galaxy Far Far Away…_

**_Dangerous Liaisons: A SPACE WARS Novel_**

_By (3-time Flaming Heart Award Winner) Vivi LeRuye and Akanho Odnoh_

_Based on the Magazine Serial by Auocolish Mengie_




Why had Leia thought this would cheer him up?

“Look at the story description,” Leia said, seemingly reading his thoughts.

**_The Journalist_ **

_Journalist Viv Ryans’ hard-hitting exposés have earned her some powerful enemies, so it’s little surprise when one of them tries to kill her. But she knows what she’s doing. She doesn’t need a bodyguard to protect her… and she says as much to the infuriating man her manager sends to protect her. He’ll only get in the way of her investigations… and if she isn’t careful, he might just get in the way of the unattached lifestyle she’s so carefully cultivated…_

**_The Jedi_ **

_When Jedi Master Obwain Kibonek is assigned to go undercover and guard Viv Ryans, he thinks he’s prepared for any dangers that might come with the mission. But as they work together to uncover the plot against her life, he realizes he was wrong about being prepared… and that of the many dangers facing them, the greatest of all may be the very real threat of losing his heart to her…_

**_Must Join Together_ **

_If they want to find the mastermind behind the attempts on Viv’s life, Viv and Obwain will need to work quickly… because, as they’ll soon discover, it’s not just their own lives at stake—it’s the very fate of the Republic itself._

**_Dangerous Liaisons: A SPACE WARS Novel_ **

_Now a holodrama starring San Esijj and Anilegna Dreiss!_




“Jedi Master _Obwain Kibonek_?” he said, raising an eyebrow, and scrolled back through the holobook to take a closer look at the front cover again.

“Apparently action and romance stories starring thinly-veiled versions of famous Jedi were quite popular during the Clone Wars,” she said.

This time he noticed what he had missed before—a lightsaber hilt at the man’s hip, half-hidden by his cloak. The angle was such that it pointed directly towards the blonde woman.

Of _course_ it did.

He hid a snicker, but apparently not well enough to escape Leia’s sharp eyes.

“I _thought_ you’d appreciate it,” she said, lips twitching. “Believe it or not, I actually read this book in my early teens.”

“And what did you think of it?” he asked.

“Oh, I thought it was _hilarious_ … especially my father’s reaction.”

Luke cocked his head in a silent invitation for more details.

“He was _mortified_ when he caught me reading it,” she said, a bittersweet smile playing on her lips. “He knew I’d pinched it from his own secret stash, after all—all imperially banned items. He tried to insist I was too young for it, but I informed _him_ I thought it was quite tame, actually, compared to some of the holonovels the girls passed around at school.”

Luke snorted. He couldn’t imagine her father had appreciated that piece of information.

Leia rolled her eyes, saying, “I was reading the book primarily for its description of the Republic and the Jedi, and I told him as much. He told _me_ I shouldn’t get my hopes up too high—apparently it takes a lot of liberties in the name of drama. Then he paused and added that on second thought, General Kenobi’s portrayal was disturbingly realistic… at least when it came to mannerisms and turns of phrase. Father said he suspected the authors must have watched a _lot_ of holonews interviews to get all the details right. Well that, or one of the authors knew Kenobi personally.”

_Interesting._

“Huh,” Luke said. “So what’s the deal with the Death Star here?”

He pointed at the cover illustration to emphasize his point.

Leia shrugged. “Rumors of a moon-sized Separatist superweapon were going around the Republic during the latter half of the Clone Wars. It got people worried enough that the Republic started work on a mobile battlestation of its own… not that the authors of this holonovel should have known that; it was all very hush-hush at the time, according to my father. And that drawing _is_ suspiciously accurate. I wonder if either of the authors had access to some kind of inside information?”

“Well, what do we know about them?” he asked.

“Not a lot,” Leia said, leaning over him to flip through the holonovel’s pages until she reached the back.

_**Vivi LeRuye** is the award-winning author of countless holonovels of heart-pounding romance and suspense, including Taboo Passion, The Master’s Pursuit, 50 Shades of Darkness, To Love a Jedi, The Virgin Duchess’ Secret Lover, Leth-Osk-Vev-Esk, Touched by Desire, Kissing in Twi'leki, The Bounty Hunter’s Bounty, Coruscant Nights, Seducing the Secessionist Sweetheart, and much more. She lives on Coruscant with her husband and her lothcat, Bella. You can learn more about her and her books at vivileruye.hn _

_**Akanho Odnoh** spent his younger years as a travelling merchant, which he says gave him the taste—and grist—for colorful tales. This is his first novel. _




“Vivi LeRuye was still writing stories when I was in school. Mainly romances involving handsome Imperial officers and dashing rogues.” Leia’s face twisted in disgust. “I’ve never heard of any other books by Akanho Odnoh, but that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. Not everyone who writes a single novel turns writing into a full-time career. And he _could_ have written other novels under a different name.”

“But….?”

“But it _does_ make me wonder….”

She trailed off and Luke waited for her to explain herself further. 

“Why write _this_ novel? Why _then?”_ Her gaze sharpened. “It makes me wish the records from the Jedi Temple were still intact. If we could view General Kenobi’s mission reports from the year leading up to the novel’s publication, I suspect we’d find our Akanho Odnoh somewhere in there. And unless Vivi LeRuye is just a _very_ good cover for an especially talented secret agent, Akanho Odnoh is probably the one who had insider information. Come to think of it, he might have been trying to warn the public about inside threats to the Republic with this novel; it’s surprisingly subversive for a Vivi LeRuye story, let alone one published at the height of the Clone Wars.”

“Huh.”

She waved a hand in dismissal. “But I’m getting away with myself. I gave this to you because I thought you’d enjoy reading about Master _Obwain Kibonek_ , Knight _Nikaan_ _Cloudstrider_ , and how the Jedi used to be portrayed in pop culture.”

“Thanks,” he said dryly, eyeing the cover again. The man’s abs glistened in the sunlight as though oiled, and his _hair…_ no one in real life had hair _that_ perfect, no more than anyone had naturally kohled eyes or perfectly symmetrical perky breasts. “I think.”

She smiled, and the smile actually reached her eyes.

“Are you sure, though?” he asked. “I know you don’t have much left from Alderaan, and if this belonged to your father…”

Her smile abruptly vanished, and he mentally hit himself over the head for bringing up the subject.

“I’m sure. My father… my father would want you to have it.”

Something she had said earlier suddenly hit him. “Wait, my father is in this book too?”

“Only briefly,” she warned him. “But yes. Everyone knew Skywalker and Kenobi were a package deal, so most novels about ‘Cloudstrider’ and ‘Kibonek' reflected that, or at least paid lip service to it.”

Ben’s smile, fond and aching, flashed through his mind. 

_“And he was a good friend.”_

Luke swallowed.

“Fortunately for you,” Leia continued, “Cloudstrider doesn’t have a romance storyline in this book, which means you won’t have to read about his sexual exploits in lurid detail.”

“People _wrote_ that sort of thing?” His voice came out higher and squeakier than he’d like.

“Obviously. This is a _romance_ thriller, Luke. Why did you think my father was so horrified to learn I’d been reading it?”

“Because it was _contraband._ And because it contained suggestive hints, not explicit _details_!” 

She raised an eyebrow expressively. “With a cover like _this,_ you thought the book wouldn’t have at least one sex scene?”

_Okay, point._

“I guess I didn’t really think about it.”

Leia snorted. “That’s your problem, Luke… You don’t think enough.”

That was rich coming from her.

“Pot, meet kettle.”

Leia shook her head. “I’ll leave you to your reading. Try not to get too many bad ideas from it; medbay staff would never forgive me.”

He grinned. “I’ll try; no promises.”

Luke wasn’t sure she _could_ fall much lower in their esteem. Already self-sufficient to a fault, Leia avoided medbays like the Candorian plague, much to their staff’s disapproval. Luke enjoyed being stuck in medbay as much as the next person, but growing up in the desert on the Outer Rim had taught him to take advantage of medical care when it was available. Aunt Beru… Aunt Beru would have boxed his ears if he gave medical staff the brush-off like Leia.

When he looked up to thank Leia again, he discovered she’d already left. He would have to think of something _really_ good for her Life Day now.

And with that thought, he scrolled to the first page of his new holobook and began to read:

**_CHAPTER ONE_ **

_Jedi Master Obwain Kibonek frowned from his seat in the High Council Chambers, one hand stroking his neatly clipped auburn beard. The frown did not detract from the handsomeness of his face; instead, the lines spoke of his numerous accomplishments and responsibilities. Though only in his thirties, he had already accomplished more than many men twice his age._

_“… has asked for a security detail,” Master Emac Duwin was saying._

_Eyes the color of the sea—at first blue, then grey, then green, now a mix—narrowed in Obwain’s face as he listened._

_He had a_ bad _feeling about this…_





End file.
